Compassion

Have you ever wondered why it seems we talk more and more about bullying in school these days?  I have.  Some say it is simply because kids are becoming more aggressive, or it is that parents are more protective and aware of what goes on behind the scenes than before. Others suggest an excess of violent tv and video games has caused this shift in behavior.  While I'm sure all of these factors contribute in some way or the other, I'm not convinced.  I wonder if we are missing something?

One of my favorite authors and bloggers Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery wrote a beautiful letter to her son as he began his school year.   

"Dear Chase,

Hey, baby.

Tomorrow is a big day. Third grade – wow.

Chase – When I was in third grade, there was a little boy in my class named Adam.

Adam looked a little different and he wore funny clothes and sometimes he even smelled a little bit. Adam didn’t smile. He hung his head low and he never looked at anyone at all. Adam never did his homework. I don’t think his parents reminded him like yours do. The other kids teased Adam a lot. Whenever they did, his head hung lower and lower and lower. I never teased him, but I never told the other kids to stop, either.

And I never talked to Adam, not once. I never invited him to sit next to me at lunch, or to play with me at recess. Instead, he sat and played by himself. He must have been very lonely.

I still think about Adam every day. I wonder if Adam remembers me? Probably not. I bet if I’d asked him to play, just once, he’d still remember me.

I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.

So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.

Baby, if you see a child being left out, or hurt, or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Your daddy and I want you to trust that heart- ache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and trust your heart-ache. That heart ache is called compassion, and it is God’s signal to you to do something. It is God saying, Chase! Wake up! One of my babies is hurting! Do something to help! Whenever you feel compassion – be thrilled! It means God is speaking to you, and that is magic. It means He trusts you and needs you.

Sometimes the magic of compassion will make you step into the middle of a bad situation right away.

Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.

Sometimes you will feel compassion but you won’t step in right away. That’s okay, too. You might choose instead to tell your teacher and then tell us. We are on your team – we are on your whole class’s team. Asking for help for someone who is hurting is not tattling, it is doing the right thing. If someone in your class needs help, please tell me, baby. We will make a plan to help together.

When God speaks to you by making your heart hurt for another, by giving you compassion, just do something. Please do not ignore God whispering to you. I so wish I had not ignored God when He spoke to me about Adam. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling compassion, but I chose fear over compassion. I wish I hadn’t. Adam could have used a friend and I could have, too.

Chase – We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We don’t care if the girls think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most Pokemon cards or coolest gadgets. We just don’t care.

We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.

We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.

Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.

Trust me, baby, it is. It is more important.

Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.

Just be grateful and kind and brave. That’s all you ever need to be.

Take care of those classmates of yours, and your teacher, too. You Belong to Each Other. You are one lucky boy . . . with all of these new gifts to unwrap this year.

I love you so much that my heart might explode.

Enjoy and cherish your gifts.

And thank you for being my favorite gift of all time.

Love,
Mama"

Each time I read this letter I wonder...what if we spent less time talking about bullying, and more time focusing on compassion?

Top 5 Giggles

As I prepare for my ninth year of teaching, I thought I'd share with you my top five funniest moments I've had in the classroom.

5.  I've had class clowns, girly girls, young jocks, divas, and quite a few fashionistas over the years.  Two years ago, I had one student in particular who was especially interested in my fashion, but let's just say she hadn't yet mastered tact when a particular outfit didn't fit her style.  One fall day my student teacher, Miss K. had on a cute dress with a white shirt.  She looked darling!   Unfortunately for her, my student didn't think so.  The student walked up to Miss K., one hand on her hip, the other finger pointing at Miss K's outfit and said in a sassy voice, "You look like a pilgrim today!"

4.   I normally leave my cell phone near the front of the class because I use it as my I-pod as well, and I've never had any problems with students playing with it.  You will imagine my surprise when one of my students came up to me as I was supervising recess from the door to tell me that, "[your] husband is going to his parent's house to visit before going home from the airport."  I stood in complete and utter confusion, looking at his innocent face, trying to figure out what was going on. Why is he telling my about J, and how does he know?  It then dawns on me that J changed his name in my phone to "hot husband" and my student must have read my text message.  The way he non-chalantly informed me of J's plans, surely caused a lot of giggles.  Needless to say, my phone now has a password!

3.  One day in Subway, I recognized two boys who were my previous students from the year I got engaged to J.  After chatting and catching up with the now 7th graders, I was caught off guard when they asked, "So...are you still married to J?"  What 13 year old boy remembers the name of his second grade teacher's husband?!?  Hmmm...

9.   I once had a student that liked to put his coat on the back of his chair.  One morning, while sitting in his chair with his coat behind him, he decided to tie the arms of his jacket around his waist.  All was fine and dandy until we rose to say the Pledge of Allegiance...unfortunately for this poor kiddo, his chair came with him.  I watched in shock and confusion as he stood in a half squat with his chair attached to him.

 6.   There are many things a teacher comes to expect from her darling students: chocolate, hugs, apples, some pretty pictures, and even a few crushes from the boys.  What I discovered in a student's desk after school one day left me speechless, stunned, and THEN laughing.  When going through student notebooks after school one day, I found a story about a boy who was creating a beautiful statue. Harmless so far, right?   I continued...the statue was named Ms. Gray.  "Oh cute!" I thought, "he's writing about me!"  My eyes went back to the page... Ms. Gray, the statue, was wearing a bikini and high heels.  What in the world!!!  Do I dare continue...I have to see how it ends.  I wearily continued...the main character was buying a belly button ring to put in the statue!  At this point I put the notebook down and tried to figure out what to do.  After sitting there pondering, laughing, and realizing that there were many things I was not prepared for when I finished my education classes in college, I called his mom to have, let's just say, a very awkward conference.  Oh the lessons you learn the first year of teaching.


What are your favorite stories of teaching?

Have a great first day, and here's to the hope of adding many more giggles to your memories this year!

And so it begins...

As I think about starting a new school year, so many emotions flood my mind...excitement, nerves, anticipation, nerves, eagerness, and a few more nerves thrown in for good measure.  I remember being a kid and feeling the same things as I started each new year.  There was the fun of buying new school supplies, which surprisingly I get the same kick out of  as a "thirty something," new clothes, yep still do that too, and then the nerves, the inability to sleep the night before the big day, the stomachaches at the unknown, and the anticipation of meeting my teacher.  Although my role has changed, the beginning of the year is still the same.

In the next week I will walk into my classroom before the students report, to a room that is fresh and clean, but completely disorganized, and I'll wonder where to start.  I'll spend many days getting the perfect bulletin boards up, and getting the room just perfect for "Meet and Greet."  My piles of copies will be perfectly organized, all the kiddos' desks will be clean, and I when I get a little overwhelmed, I'll calm my self down by cutting that smooth laminating plastic.  The first week back will be all preparation.

As much as I love those long, quiet days of preparing for a new year, I teach for the giggles that come on the first day, and every day after that.  For the smiles and laughter that light up the room.  For the hugs, the busy boys, the ornery students that just seem to know how to push my buttons, the sweet ones that give endless hugs, and the ones that try so hard.  I teach to see the "light go on," to see the friendships build, to see the confidence climb.  I teach for my kiddos.  

While the beginning of a new school year brings excitement, anticipation, and nerves, it also brings about a new family every year.  A family of kids, parents, and teachers that come to hold a very special place in my heart forever.

I'd love for you to join me as I document my year as a teacher, mentor, and friend.